Pastor Emily’s Devotion
Easter is a season of the greatest joy that we Christians have, there’s no doubting that. But resurrection power is surprising, it’s shocking, it’s something that we do not expect. It causes us to hold in tension the sorrow and grief of death with the joy and excitement of resurrected life. The disciples were holding all of these in their minds as they went to the tomb, saw the angel, and then fled in terror and amazement according to the Mark’s Gospel. This is how we are to live holding the good with the bad; the beautiful with the ugly; and life with death. We wouldn’t have new life if it weren’t for death. We wouldn’t know joy without sorrow.
The resurrection of Jesus made it so that we could hold both the good and the bad; the beautiful and the ugly, and life with death. We would not know the great joy of this morning without the excruciating pain of Friday and the deep despair of Saturday.
About four years ago, my mentor at the time told me something that changed my life forever. I used to avoid my negative emotions, and she said, “Emily, without feeling your negative emotions, your life will never be as full as it could be. You are only allowing yourself to feel half of your emotions, and you're not even able to feel your positive emotions to the fullest because you do not have anything to compare the joy to.” In other words, how can we fully experience the brilliance of the sunrise without also knowing the beauty of the dark night? After this revelation, when Good Friday came around, I was a mess. I led the service of shadows with tears in my eyes. I could not pull my eyes from the cross. I was amazed by Jesus’ sacrificial love displayed on the cross. I couldn’t fathom that kind of love. Holy Saturday came. And I was silent most of the day. I journaled and prayed. But I felt as though I was grieving alongside the disciples. I think we Christians really miss out by not having a Holy Saturday service. And then Easter sunrise came. I cannot express the joy I felt as I read the resurrection story to my congregation at the time. I was beaming with love as I proclaimed, “HE IS RISEN!” I remember my mentor’s words, and then I can more easily understand how the disciples fled from the tomb in terror and amazement.
So often I feel as though we don’t experience the fullness of joy because we try so hard to separate it from grief and sorrow. I wonder if this Easter Sunday and this Eastertide, we can try to hold them both together. We can be like the disciples who left the tomb in terror and amazement. Easter is a day of joy. It’s a celebration of life – but man, it’s a gift of life that we will spend the rest of our days trying to comprehend.
